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Try Being 'Assertive' --Not 'Aggressive'

Q. My husband and I had an equal marriage until we had children. Then things changed. As the mom, I have a lot more to do than he does at home, and when I occasionally have to make a business trip, he gets upset. He resents having to come home and take over care of the kids and the house after work-things I do the rest of the time. I never complain when he travels. How do we get a balance here?

Ans. Speak up. But be assertive and not aggressive. Assertive means stating y our case quietly but firmly over and over until the listener gets it. Such as: "My job and salary are as important as yours because we depend upon them as much as we depend upon yours." Aggressive means making your point by putting down the other person. Stay away from that regardless of how tempting it can be. These and other tips are in "The Girl's Guide to Being a Working Mom." By Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio (Broadway $23.99).


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