Q. When our son started college last month we drove him there and helped him settle into the dorm. We stayed overnight although he acted as though he'd like us to leave. We text about twice a day so we know how he's doing and call on his cell phone every few days to make sure he's ok. People have called me a helicopter mom, but I think we have to do everything we can to help him make a good transition so he'll do well in his career later on. What's your view?
Ans. Those people are on the mark and you can land the helicopter now. If the young man is old enough to go to college, he's old enough to be left alone. Let him surprise you by calling or texting when HE thinks he needs to contact you, instead of the other way around. Although your behavior was fine when he began kindergarten, it isn't going to wash when he gets his first job. And that is the day you're really trying to prepare him for, isn't it?