Ask Dr. Job’s chief contributor, Sandra Pesmen, is a member of the Chicago Journalism Hall of Fame and author of “DR. JOB’s Complete Career Guide.”

Winner of several journalism awards, Pesmen is a graduate of the University of Illinois Media College at Urbana, and is listed in several Who’s Who editions. She also has been Corporate Features Editor of Crain Communications Inc., founding Features Editor of Crain’s Chicago Business and a reporter/features writer for The Chicago Daily News.

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Ask DR.JOB Q and A: Is Man Worth a Move?

Choose man or job

By Sandra Pesmen
(Write to

(Q.1) AS A WOMAN, I'VE HAD TO WORK HARDER THAN A MAN. I do my job well, enjoy it and want to stay with this company and move into top management. I believe that is realistic. But very unexpectedly, I met the first man who has diverted my attention from that goal. Quite simply, I have fallen in love and didn't know I could even consider his proposal, which involves leaving this job and this city and moving across the country with him. I feel I'm ready to do that, but wonder if I'm letting the whole women's movement and myself down. I am interested in your view.

(A) THE GENERAL RULE IS THAT IF YOU have to ask. then it's probably not the right match. But you state your case in a way that says you're confident about the relationship and are not asking about that. If so, draw a line down a piece of blank paper. On one side write all the wonderful things you love about his man. On the other write all the wonderful things you love about your job. Below that list anything you can replace with another-or no-- man, on the other side list all the things you can replace with a new job in the new community and a partner who will build a full long life and possibly a family together. You must make the choice. Neither one will greatly influence the women's movement.

DR.JOB Tip of the Week:

Take Charge-Advocate for Yourself